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## Hey... I'm Phil~
You might know me, you might not: 25 yo, fat, helps with the KH Infrastructure, does project planning, and a gay furry... I have spawned, you can't get rid of me now - deal with it.

I have been given the task by Karlo to write a blog post, cause he is a lazy fuck that didn't want to write the first post himself. So you have to cope with my messed up humor for or our first ever post on this godforsaken useless homepage. probably not even going to spellcheck this ting...

## Enough of that guy. More about new feature+
So yey! new stuffs...

### The obvious: Blocks
We have a blog now... Karl0 told me he has aMazInG PlanS!" for this thing. Something, something monthly updates about our progress for little hosting company, ~~that will definitely not fail in the next 3 months~~... This will include infrastructure updates, frontend code updates, or when Karoline breaks the Firewall again, and I'm shouting at him for it.

### Project managemeentet
I forced Kalro to write down his stupid ideas so we have a better overview of his Steve Jobs visions (📉). My job is to take these ideas and split them into crunchy 4 weeks segments (sprints), where I gaslight him to not getting done. To his credit... the first sprint concluded, and he did actually finish his tasks... so not I know to put even more tasks for the next 4 weeks hehe.

_... Karlo here.. its actually Karlo not Kalro or Karlolo, this guy is a bit lost today._

### He protecc! but not attacc...
Some of you noticed some downtime a few weeks back. That was thanks to a low life that thought they can get a ransom out of us in exchange to stop DDoSing our services with a free tool. Money... form us... a **free** hoster... that doesn't make any dime with this stupid project.

Needless to say we laughed our ass off and after the 3rd attack he noticed that he's just wasting his time with our sorry asses. Enough backstory: We now use two VPS nodes as proxy nodes with DDoS protection. Go bother Karlel and steal his time, if you want details how we set this up.

### UK Simulator
We now use a proper checking tool called CheckMK to check our infrastructure... and you~ It took some time to move along. But I convinced him by threatening him to beat his ass, if he continues to use Grafana - a tool that is too manual for Infrastructure Monitoring.

## Anything else?
No... why you still here?.. bye! shoo!

A quick overview of our first agile sprint and how Karlo wasted his time with this failed project.

Latest Blog Posts

Gaslighting Karlo into working faster